Been a while since I've updated this....just a mix of being busy/tired....anywho, I started a few days ago to do a "song of the day" looking for a song that I like that has a deeper meaning. I found this one on Sunday night.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyoVJfADlwo&feature=related
it is East to West, by Casting Crowns
As I listened to this song, several times in a row. I just felt so...small... Ive done thing in my life I'm ashamed of, I've asked forgivness for, and yet carried the guilt, One thing in particular, happened about 8 years ago, take or leave, I wont say what it was, But ive carried the guild of it even since then. And as I listened to this song, I just started crying. For almost two hours, I was just a total wreck, And then it hit me. Why ive been carrying this guilt. I have asked for forgiveness countless times, God has given it freely, and yet, for all these years, I simply have not been accepting it. When I realized that, I suddenly felt...light, Happy...free, Finally, after almost 8 years, This guilt, this fear, this weight, Finally, it was gone. Finally, after almost eight years, I was finally free.
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Nic, thats so crazy you are learning that, cuz Gods takin me on a journey just like that in the past few days! Without boring you with details, spiritually i was feeling "dehydrated" and I was dyin of thirst! Except all the stuff I was doing to satisfy the thirst wasn't what I really needed. I needed HIM.And that stemmed from a lack of accepting Christs forgiveness in areas of my life that I needed it. Like you said, i KNEW I was forgiven, but I wasnt accepting it. It was sweet to feel freedom from that ( as i am sure you know!). Sin can touch us, but it can not claim us! rememeber that! Christ is in YOU! Trust His work for you. He took your place on the cross. And trust His work in you. Your heart is His home, and He is your Master!
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